This day, two years ago …

…marked the beginning to a wonderful journey  into the future that I had very little idea about.

Memories are always good; in the sense, they are either associated with an event to be cherished or to be learnt from. There is nothing such as a bad memory. Even the most bitter of them has something very useful and profound to offer. Now some of these memories belong to events that are planned, some others to those chosen and yet a few to the ones that just happen! Ones of the last kind are usually more closer to heart, given that they happen when we least expect them and also because by nature they actually come from what we are truly destined to. This is true, from what I believe - very strongly so!

A couple years ago, today, happened to be exactly one of those days that opened doors to the most unexpected journey that took me through roads never travelled before. I was taken through beauty, through ultimate delight and through incredible admiration that continues to exist to this day. There was awe, there was a great sense of appreciation, there was this joy that couldn’t be contained, for the face of my world had drastically changed; quiet suddenly with no caution. It was as if life breathed into me once again, totally fresh as the fragrance of blooms. That’s why it stays in my heart; so near and very dear.

Can a road too ideal, ever exist? Beautiful, scenic and challenge-free all the way through? Even if there were to be one, it’d be unparalleled to the journey that would otherwise be enjoyable with occasional sighting of dryness in the midst of greenery, those face-to-face encounters with wild life caught off-guard and little surprises every now and then, in the middle of no-where. And if there were one, it would be too good to be true but honestly that wouldn’t make the travel anymore interesting. It would be boring and monotonous after some point. The lack of contrast subscribes to the absence of the ability to appreciate. It is for this reason; God has fused so much contrast on Earth and into the life of mankind.

I’d be lying if I said my journey, so far had been devoid of these contrasts, of interesting twists and challenges. It kicked off with a surprise to begin with! It was ‘I’ that gave it to myself!! How cool is that? I rather hear someone say ‘how complicated is that’?? But it is not to be forgotten that the roads to magnificent destinations have once been complex to arrive at, until someone took the lead to make a trail for many travelers to follow! Who said surprises are not good by the way? They very often come pleasantly in pretty packages; quite lovable! Mine came in an extremely “lovable” package and while I was still taking it in, admiring the awesomeness, challenges started coming along without even a slight delay. When they came in, I’d hit U-turns, reach breath-taking cliffs and be taken through steep roads that seem to be taking forever to reaching any destination.

Alongside a delightful journey, despite the least expected swirls in the most enjoyable trail, it was insightful to see - there was a direction to every U-turn, leading miles closer to the destination, an inspiring vista to every cliff I’d hit and holding up in wait through the road that seemed to be leading no-where is actually making the arrival at the destination much and much more dearer – the utmost adorable one! And that’s why again, the day it all began and the journey it has taken me through (and still continues to) remains dear to my heart; inseparably close!

I’m thankful for the journey so far and prayerfully looking forward to somehow arriving at the destination in a mysterious way. Happy May 1^st!! and a  2^nd  anniversary on the journey that continues to make me an experienced traveller…

Why I like living in the US?

Until about 4 years ago, I barely conceived the idea of living in the US or even visiting the country. While friends were busy scoring at GRE, TOEFL and seeking admissions to universities in the US, little have I considered putting these on my radar. I wonder what the hell was I doing back then? In fact, it never occurred to me that I could ever fly out of my country and that I had the potential of being able to earn my bread elsewhere on the earth. No, I didn’t even dream of it. But s**t happens sometimes like someone said. Well, I do not really equal the experience but the consequences 4 years later – frustration, impatience, desperation and the like!  Oh well, I don’t think I mentioned the reasons provoking these negative emotions synonymous with each other. There are plenty anyway.

I was trying to consciously remind and educate myself (yeah right, I’ve been somewhat illiterate these days and am perhaps going insane) that I was born, raised on this soil for 27 years and that I rightfully belong here where I have my roots so I am bound to love (or at least like) living here. In India, that is. There are again ample reasons why life in India is less appealing - personal, social, economic and environmental (I have little exposure to other places here but have lived in at least 3 major cities to date and am familiar with the basic life style and culture).

With this desire about springing back to life in the US, I took a look into what is it about living in the US that myself is getting attracted to. Again, my exposure to living in other states/cities in the US is fairly minimal. All I have experienced is a simple life (excluding extravagant lifestyle or pubbing and partying) in this famous place that has awesome weather. Summers are really awesome and the coast line is simply superb. Travel, food, lifestyle and technology of course – Is there a different name for the beautiful bay area but for these? I’ve spent about a good number of years here. As I have jotted it down, following is a list of the top 3 reasons why I’d like to live in the US –

Everyone minds their own business - Yes, one of the biggest reasons I like this country. I feel choked with the peeping into the personal window business. It is ok to have concern for someone you care. I just can’t figure why a stranger is inquisitive about what’s going on in one’s personal life. I’d be thankful to the culture and the busy schedule that keeps people minding their own business.

There is less dependency and more freedom– Can you imagine being chained to something all the time? That means to loose independence! To loose freedom!  Culture in the US is well known for its freedom. Is it a good thing? Now, it is up to an individual as to how he or she would choose to make the best use of it. In today’s world good and bad, they both have a common source and it is by sheer choice we make what we take out of it. And I so like it. Especially because, we get hassle free and get to help oneself to make productive use of time, if there is a will. There is less interference and less bothering.

Well, that excludes the emotional aspect of human life. No matter where you are on this globe, you are always emotionally dependent.  

 Traveling is much easier – Whether you are single or in a group, traveling is so much easier and weekends are a lot of fun.  Drives are scenic stretching through miles and miles and miles...One can witness magnificent creations of nature and these are very educative as well. There is so much to explore in the US and the best part is, one can travel to most of these places with much convenience.

It’s easier to pursue your passions in any field and above all the weather is beautiful. Ok! Sounds like locked-in thinking?  Not really! When I would have explored more, I'd of course have a different list to share ;0) 

Yes, love is tangible.

A lot of times, I had suffered the pain of separation from loved ones though I knew it was going to be only for what it is called a brief period. With years adding to my life and the lives of the ones surrounding me, there were occasions where I had to grieve over a much longer separation that came with the loss of loved ones. I count myself fortunate, to be away from witnessing the scenes of grief brought by death in the extended family and that was for a good reason or may be I am escaping to face the reality. I wouldn’t be able to cope up and recover from that loss.  I know I am not alone and bet its time I’d grow up.

One Saturday morning over coffee with my neighbor next-door in her early 70s, who I refer to as my friend - aunt Celia Solomon, and admire her for the positive personality she is, I happened to be part of God’s plan in comforting her over the loss of her older sister late Miss Lilly Agnes Solomon. Both these sisters have been spinsters by choice and also perhaps by the plan God had breathed into them both, to be able to touch the lives of many less fortunate people. I really believe they had been a blessing to many by service and an inspiration by their personalities.

While we shared with each other, the testimony of our lives and how the Lord had been faithful in orchestrating his plans for us, I had a chance to read the letter, her sister Miss Lilly had written in one of the diaries she left back for aunt Celia, a couple years before she slept in peace as we’d guess. As she had intended, months after she passed away, aunt Celia saw the warmth, comfort and love of her sister come to life on a piece of paper as she flipped through the pages of the diary and I could unquestionably tell she has read, re-read and is continuing to read these words of hope to be encouraged with moving on. It is a true reflection of Miss Lilly’s love for aunt Celia, her gratitude towards the relationship they both shared, and her responsibility in comforting her younger sister for she knew that aunt Celia would be pounded with grief over this undesired and obviously inevitable separation. Above all, it mirrored the faith she had in their re-union in Christ at the doors of heaven in the days to come! I was highly touched by the way Miss Lilly wanted to talk in to her sister, words of love and of encouragement even after she got called to be with the Lord. With aunt Celia’s permission, I have posted here what the letter said -

When I am gone, release me, let me go,

I have so many things to see,

You must not tie yourself to me with tears,                                                                                                                           

be thankful for our beautiful years.

I gave to you my love, you can only guess,

how much you gave me in happiness

I thank you for the love each of you have shown,

but now it's the time I traveled alone,

So grieve a while for me and grieve you must,

then let your grief be comforted by trust,

it’s only for a time we must part,

so bless the memories within your heart.

I won’t be far away for the life goes on,

so, if you need me call, I will come,

though you can’t see me or touch me, I’ll be near,

for I will be inside you in spirit clear.

And if you listen with your heart you’ll hear,

all of my love around you soft & dear,

and then when you must come this way alone,

I’ll greet you with a smile & say “Welcome Home”!

A tribute to these sisters for their love for each other through the long years and a word of comfort & encouragement to those many mourning hearts out there suffering the loss of a loved one - There is hope after death and that is in Christ!

Don't give up. Failure is not final!

Here's what a 20th century American poet Edgar Albert Guest had said about not quitting - 
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you are trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must – but don’t you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow –

You might succeed with another blow…

Success is failure turned inside out –

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt –

And you can never tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit –

It’s when things get worse that you mustn’t quit!

Everybody has battles to fight  - some trivial, some severe and some deathly. But the key to success lives in not giving up until the light of success breaks through . It is endurance and perseverance through situations that seem tough and tiring that success is guaranteed. Last but not the least, a note to self on reminding that failure is never final.

Greetings seasoned with time...

It was her birthday, and I wished her bliss.

all this while I took her amiss.

And then at lunch she revealed her plight,

alas! I held my lips tight.

Such was the story she had to share,

‘twas hard to believe that she could bear.

I knew not she was in so much pain,

for everything she did went in vain.

She trusted the one who turned out a cheat,

and caused her life’s purpose defeat.

The birthday wishes did her good,

perhaps they changed her mood.

She was thankful for the treat,

it sure helped her heart-ache retreat.

Another example that  ‘deeds make a difference’

particularly when ‘time is the essence’!

Age to age He shines

You gave me hope,

You made me whole, at the cross…

You took my place,

You showed me grace, at the cross where you died for me…

And His glory appears, like a light from the Sun,

Age to age He shines,

O!  Look to the skies, hear the angels cry,

Singing Holy is the LORD!!!

Yes, I’m celebrating the eve of Christ’s resurrection in singing and enjoying this very well composed and of course wonderfully written number by the Hillsong  United band. It made its entry onto the top of the list of my most favorite hymns. The lyrics are simple but they so raise a sense of praise and comfort. It is marvelous to see how words make so much meaning just by being put together in the right order and the tune of-course adds to bringing on a state of euphoria. Oh wait! I don’t think that is quite so true. It seems I made that statement in a little haste.

The essence of actually enjoying something almost depends on how much we understand, know and experience a particular thing. A sense of relating to a particular person, object or emotion, that is. One who is in love can alone understand what an emotion that is to be in love with that someone called a parent, spouse or friend. Someone can appreciate the meaning of hope only by knowing what it means to hope for something, from the simplest to the more uncertain like a miraculous healing, a secure future, an escape from a threat or some such. Love, hope and the like are otherwise just as plain as the words they are if not attached to an object. The mind does not know what the eyes do not see or the heart does not feel.

 Asides the meaningful linear disposition of words topped with the alluring tune, I enjoy this hymn because I relate to the object of it, Christ! and his unconditional love! ‘Age to age He shines’ is the phrase I enjoy the most in the euphoria of being secure. It gives me hope – one in fact so strong that I can say no matter what darkest of the storms come over, He will hold me up secure in His everlasting light. A reminder of His resurrection keeps that hope alive!

In less than a day

As usual they sat next to each other on the bus they took to college every morning. Sitting at his most favorite seat, the window, he talked her into the story of their future. There were giggles and there was laughter. They were both mature and responsible, helping each other lay brick by brick to build the foundation to a successful future that would bring their visions they had during the 2 years of their courtship to fruition. Future seemed to be quite promising, calling them into its brightness. In the advent of leaving college since it was the final year at the professional course they were pursuing, they have been, for a while discussing about breaking the news to their families. There was a dialogue continuing their earlier conversations about who should be the first to initiate the talks with either side of the families. It broke into an aggressive dispute in no longer than few minutes and got heated up to the boiling point. He grew fierce with rage in total disagreement to what she proposed should be the way to do it. Unable to contain it any further, he moved away from her in intense anger and took the seat right across from her.

There was dreadful silence between them both. The wind gusted into the bus that cruised on the highway, suffocating her as she stared out of the window in review of the entire episode. She was frustrated with the on-going discussion that drew no conclusions. She looked like she was lost in a deep thought, possibly thinking of a solution to their present problem.
All of a sudden, the silence broke. Bam! A tanker crashed into the bus while the bus was making a sharp turn and that was it!

He opened his eyes on the hospital bed with severe wounds from the collision. Her body was lying on the bed by his side. He soon realized that his love that desired to walk on his side through the rest of her life, generously took his place in death. Their problem, at the expense of her life and of a few others, was obviously solved. It existed no more. Whether he bypassed it or she seized it in response to his anger, remained a question to the divine. Shedding tears in agony, he cursed himself responsible for the disaster through the rest of his life.

In light of the above incident, I am reminded of Christ's sermon on the mount about reconciliation. Holding grudge against or being angry with someone is equaled to committing a murder.  It is possible that the after effects could be serious enough to support the equation. That is why as I see it, there is urgency in resolving the conflict and the same is emphasized in the sermon that offering at the altar comes only after reconciliation.  In alignment with the teachings of Christ in Matthew 5:23, Paul writes to the Church in Ephesus, to not sin in anger and to not let the dusk arrive while one is still angry (Ephesians 4:26). In simplification, he is saying to not hold grudge or anger for more than 24 hours. We can get angry for the right reasons, but still cannot hold it for a longer time. Reconciliation will not stop the inevitable. It assures peace with each other and keeps harmony alive, come what may so we may not live in regret of having committed an easily avoidable sin.

If we pretend that today is going to be the last day of one's life, think of how one would live before leaving this earth for eternity. A bollywood movie called 'Rubaru' as I recall, is the plot about a change in the attitude of a guy towards the girl he is in a relationship with, after he realizes that a series of events in the day go in conformance with his dream the night before. The story has an interesting twist at the end but makes one realize the importance of time and harmony with people that you care about in particular.
 

The subject in the above incident is a friend of mine. 11 years later, as of today, he is peaceful, calm and slow to anger, yet lives in great regret. His transformation was positive yet cannot undo the whole thing but sure helped avoid any such occurrences in the years that followed. A loss is a loss and will always remain one! This is just one of a billion such incidents that happen to an anonymous number of people everyday. Why live in regret when it is possible to avoid it? If the people that lost their lives in the recent earthquake in Japan were given a chance to come back to life, they will each have a similar story to tell about the dispute or unrest they want to settle with a spouse, child, family, friends, people at work or even a neighbor next door. When we do not know the challenges the next minute is capable of throwing at us, is it not wise to let go of the negative emotions we deal with each single day? While life is a short pilgrimage on earth, make it pleasant and worthwhile. By all means reconcile and remember to possibly do so in less than 24 hours, if not sooner.