I was amazed when I first learnt about the way, the mother eagle teaches her young ones to fly. In order to teach them the art of flight, she throws the eaglets out of the nest from a cliff, and gives them a bed of thorns when they try to get into it. While the eaglets fearfully shriek and fall, the father eagle who shares an equal responsibility in raising the young ones, picks them up on his back and gets them back to the nest. This exercise continues until the young ones learn flapping and experience the excitement opened by the new learning. The eaglets during this process, would have many times questioned themselves about this cruel, mean and rather unusual behavior of the mother not knowing how much it hurts her to see them struggle in physical pain. Despite the pain, she knew that pushing them beyond their capabilities would eventually benefit and make them able enough to be self-dependent and self-sustained. This is one of those classic examples of tough love where success is a 100% guarantee.
I know of a father whose one and only 21 year old son, just out of college, not even a graduate, wanted to marry his teenage love. Surprisingly, as opposed to a typical father who would first think about putting an end to the love story, he tried to convince the son and expressed his intense desire to see him grow into an individual with an identity before he could tie the knot. The son however remained adamant and walked out on the family following a heated argument with the father. Given the situation with a chance to hold back the son, the father at this point, chose the hard way. He chose to let him go with an assumption that the rough teacher called ‘life’ would help him learn the lessons he needed. I can imagine the agony of the father, the mental anguish he would have suffered from this separation; he would have accused himself more than imaginable times, guilty of putting the son through hardships. Nevertheless, he must have believed that the son would one day return back with an identity but much to his disappointment, he found him married and settled down for a mediocre life instead of pursuing his father’s desire.
I also know of another father, who in a similar way pushed really hard on the younger son in the family. The family stood together as a team, cutting down the emotional and financial aid and gave him the hard love to make him mend his life. Sure enough, a year later he worked his own way out, found solutions to his problems and is now leading a much happier, blessed and content life. I’m pretty sure, this family as well had their equal share of pain and suffering as the subject himself did.
During one’s life time, there would sure be times when the loved ones push really hard on an individual to the extremes of being mean and inconsiderate. And when they do, they know in their heart and they sincerely hope that one day everything will just be fine. It is easy to ignore that in fact it is hard on the ones giving the tough love since they for real carry the burden of selfless sacrifice. It is very much hurting to see someone dear struggling the worst fights of life. The pain is beyond words could express.
‘Tough love’ stands the core of both these examples. Yet we see quite contrary results. There is a fair chance that the outcome may be as it was expected to be. There is an equally fair chance that it may not be positive either. Unlike in the eagles’ story, when it’s a matter of chance, isn’t it a safe bet to try and fail than to have not tried at all?
I know of a father whose one and only 21 year old son, just out of college, not even a graduate, wanted to marry his teenage love. Surprisingly, as opposed to a typical father who would first think about putting an end to the love story, he tried to convince the son and expressed his intense desire to see him grow into an individual with an identity before he could tie the knot. The son however remained adamant and walked out on the family following a heated argument with the father. Given the situation with a chance to hold back the son, the father at this point, chose the hard way. He chose to let him go with an assumption that the rough teacher called ‘life’ would help him learn the lessons he needed. I can imagine the agony of the father, the mental anguish he would have suffered from this separation; he would have accused himself more than imaginable times, guilty of putting the son through hardships. Nevertheless, he must have believed that the son would one day return back with an identity but much to his disappointment, he found him married and settled down for a mediocre life instead of pursuing his father’s desire.
I also know of another father, who in a similar way pushed really hard on the younger son in the family. The family stood together as a team, cutting down the emotional and financial aid and gave him the hard love to make him mend his life. Sure enough, a year later he worked his own way out, found solutions to his problems and is now leading a much happier, blessed and content life. I’m pretty sure, this family as well had their equal share of pain and suffering as the subject himself did.
During one’s life time, there would sure be times when the loved ones push really hard on an individual to the extremes of being mean and inconsiderate. And when they do, they know in their heart and they sincerely hope that one day everything will just be fine. It is easy to ignore that in fact it is hard on the ones giving the tough love since they for real carry the burden of selfless sacrifice. It is very much hurting to see someone dear struggling the worst fights of life. The pain is beyond words could express.
‘Tough love’ stands the core of both these examples. Yet we see quite contrary results. There is a fair chance that the outcome may be as it was expected to be. There is an equally fair chance that it may not be positive either. Unlike in the eagles’ story, when it’s a matter of chance, isn’t it a safe bet to try and fail than to have not tried at all?
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